A Tinder guy stayed at my place for two weeks…in hindsight he probably had nowhere to stay and wasn’t actually avoiding the Russian mafia.
I can’t decide if dating is the funniest or the shittiest thing. I’ll probably never figure it out. It doesn’t matter anyway. You can’t escape dating. There are of course differences between first dates, second dates, one night stands, “date night”, Tinder or Hinge dates. They all smell different. But the premise is the same.
The fear and dread of meeting a stranger is a universal sacrifice we make in the pursuit of what we want, whether it’s love or a one-night stand. The latter can be – shockingly – even difficult to find.
But that’s it, we all know why we’re here.
My worst encounter was in front of the library. I was making out with a guy because I wasn’t sure I wanted to go home with him yet. His hands were on my chest and I was thinking it was a bit much for a public cuddle. That was before I realized I was buttoning up my blouse, which I had sensibly unbuttoned – or so I thought – just enough to show a bit of my lace bra. I asked him what the hell he was doing to which he replied “You shouldn’t be showing so much skin”.
In the bold realm of things, that wasn’t so bad either. People are weird.
Other people have had far worse experiences, and often the only consolation prize is the story itself. At VICE, we love stories. So we asked a few people to share theirs with us.
A guy came over to spend the night at my place and we were relatively ok, apart from the fact that he also PISSED THE BED on me during the night. I thought I was sweating until I realized what had happened when I asked him if he peed the bed or not. He didn’t even seem surprised, all he said was: ah, damn…
We had to take apart the whole bed and wash the sheets and throw away my expensive mattress topper. I LATER LEARNED through acquaintances that I wasn’t the first and that they knew of at least two other times he peed on him while he was sleeping.
I went on a date with a guy a while ago and it was the WORST date. Here are some of the red flags we ignored.
- He didn’t have any money, so I paid for everything.
- He had a whiskey AND a beer while I had a beer.
- We accidentally met some of his friends and he didn’t introduce me. They ignored me for two hours while they
- talked about heavy stuff that I couldn’t get into.
- He invited me to his place to do ketamine. I agreed because I NEEDED it since the date was going so badly.
- When I refused his request for sex, he said it’s ok, then I’m going to fuck myself.
- He did his paw while I was standing there in the K-hole.
- He fell asleep as soon as he let go and as he fell asleep he let out the loudest, most disgusting fart.
- In the end I left, disgusted with him, but mostly with myself for not leaving sooner.
There are so many! I went on five dates on Hinge in seven days. I think I’m actually everyone else’s Hinge data nightmare. My worst Hinge date was when I was matched with a guy I knew wouldn’t like me and had a fight with on … read more